Beyond the Cabin in the Woods

4
Aug

XX (2017)

XX is an anthology horror film featuring stories about women directed by women. Your polterguides found it entertaining, if a bit frustrating here and there. We discuss Donna’s strong feelings about Jack Ketchum, Adrean’s strong feelings about selecting someone who doesn’t like horror to write and direct a horror story, Debbie’s approving feelings about the depiction of depression and Kenzi’s strong feelings about retelling Rosemary’s baby,

Not to mention all our strong feelings about the surprisingly touching story of the little stop motion creepy doll.

Give the movie a watch. It’s entertaining, even if we feel that “women” isn’t really a theme.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Roxanne Benjamin, Karyn Kusama, St. Vincent, Jovanka Vuckovic

Written by: Jack Ketchum, Jovanka Vuckovic, Roxanne Benjamin, St. Vincent, Roxanne Benjamin, Karyn Kusama

Released: 2017

Quote: The Birthday Party, or, The Memory Lucy Suppressed from Her Seventh Birthday That Wasn't Really Her Mom's Fault (Even Though Her Therapist Says It's Probably Why She Fears Intimacy).

Rules:

The Box: Don’t look in the box.

The Birthday Party: The Weekend at Bernie’s scheme never works.

Don’t Fall: Don’t trust the gas station attendant when looking for a campsite

Her Only Living Son (or What if Charles Grodin' s character from Rosemary's Baby had lived): If your child is the son of the devil, maybe don't wait till he's 18 to do something about that.

 

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods

 #beyondthecabin

 #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

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15
Jul

The Omen

With Polterguide Kenzi away, we brought in polterguest Rob who suggested the 1976 iconic movie, The Omen.

We discuss super cuddly, friendly happy-panting hellhounds, Gregory Peck’s unbreakably stoic expression, how long the evil nanny would have still had a job if she worked for us,  whether Damien is actually evil, and the 2nd Doctor’s turn as a doomed priest.

 

Quote: Don’t let him kill me!

Poll: Would you have adopted that child?

Rule: Don’t lie to your wife. Or your husband. Or your spouse in general. Or your significant other.

Rob's kickstarter for Ruined My Rhythm, vol 2

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Richard Donner 

Written by: David Seltzer

Released: 1976

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods

 #beyondthecabin

 #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

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30
Jun

Poltergeist (1982)

 

What happens when you take a group of polterguides who haven’t seen each other for over a month, sit them down in front of one of their favorite nostalgic horror flicks, and then highly caffeinate them?

This podcast!

We talk fast, we talk long, and we talk hard. Rumors of who really directed, the Poltergeist “curse,” how old Diane must’ve been when Dana was born, that clown, that tree, that piece of meat, cat-calling, proper storage of your stash (not scattered across your bedspread), that orange jersey, keeping track of your kids, and more.

Guys, we really enjoy this movie.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Tobe Hooper

Written by: Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, Mark Victor

Released: 1982

Quote: You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn't you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! You only moved the headstones!

Poll: Would you have approached that crawling steak on the counter?

Rule: Don’t sleep with the television on.

 

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

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16
Jun

Friday the 13th

It's 12:15 in the morning. We just watched our 4th horror movie in 10 hours. We're sleepy, yet surprisingly coherent. Also, this movie made Debbie yell a cuss very loudly.

Our fourth episode in Beyond the Cabin the Woods in an actual cabin in the woods marathon. The 1980 classic Friday the 13th was one of the original slasher flix, and it shows in its pacing and execution. A young Kevin Bacon appears in a speedo, the “jester” character displays culturally insensitive behavior, the final girl (whose name we just couldn’t remember because the most interesting character was killed in the first 10 minutes) battles for her life.

Then… we turned off the mic and went to sleep. *yawn*

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham    

Written by: Victor Miller, story by Sean S. Cunningham and Victor Miller, Ron Kurtz (uncredited)

Released: 1980

Quote: We ain’t gonna stand for no weirdness out here.

Poll: If all the locals tell you “here lies death,” would you still go to the camp?

Rule: Don’t go out in the woods barefoot and wearing only your undies. Put on some pants and shoes!

 

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

00:0000:00
2
Jun

Evil Dead (2013)

Cabins and Chainsaws Suite #3

 

Evil Dead (2013)

Your polterguides are on hour seven and horror movie number three while staying in an actual Cabin in the Woods (with wind and rain and darkness and strange scratchy noises coming from the front door. It was super creepy, y’all).

This gore-fest of a film remade Sam Raimi’s original Evil Dead with a lot of nods to the original while still going off on its own creepy, body-horror way and giving us the occasional surprise.

 

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Fede Alvarez

Written by: Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues, based on Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead.

Released: 2013

Quote: She just cut off her fucking arm! Does that sound “fine?”

Poll: Would you be able to cut off your arm?
         Would you read the book?

Rule: Don’t say it. Don’t write it. Don’t hear it.

 

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #GUMBIECATNETWORKS

00:0000:00
19
May

Tucker and Dale

 

Cabins and Chainsaws suite #2

Your polterguides survived their ordeal in the cabin (...or did we?) and watched Tucker and Dale vs Evil.

Then we talked about a lot of things: growing up in the country, dad lawn-mowing techniques, things not to put on your animals' wounds, seeking medical attention after loss of consciousnesss, towns in Oklahoma, and, sometimes, we talked about Tucker and Dale vs Evil.

Alan Tudyk voice over video

Tucker and Dale vs Evil
Director: Eli Craig
Writers: Eli Craig, Morgan Jurgenson

Quote: We’re having a doozy of a day.

Poll: If a guy who looked like Dale walked over to you holding a scythe, would you have talked to him?

Rule: Call the police.

00:0000:00
5
May

BtCitW - Episode 7 - Evil Dead 2

Evil Dead 2 Movie Poster

Cabins and Chainsaws Suite #1

Your polterguides trekked out into the woods and spent the night in a cabin watching scary movies and listening to scary wind noises.

First up, Sam Raimi's camp classic, Evil Dead 2. This "requel" (Bruce Campbell's word) to Evil Dead, shows fan favorite Ash Williams battling the forces of evil in a remote cabin. Part campy comedy, part body horror, this film leads into the final movie of this "trilogy," Army of Darkness.

Name: Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn
Director: Sam Raimi
Written by: Sam Raimi and Scott Spiegel
Year of release: 1987

Quote: We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine?"

Rule: Don't run towards the guy in the cabin shooting at you.

Poll: Young Bruce or old Bruce?

00:0000:00
21
Apr

BtCitW - Episode 6 - Little Shop of Horrors (re-edit)

We had so much fun watching this movie and recording this episode.

Half of us were coughing* and all of us were at least moderately inebriated as we settled in to watch this comedy/musical/horror movie.

*I edited out all the coughs I could, guys.

 EDITED: We got some feedback that the spider talk was a little much, so I've reuploaded the file with the spider talk edited significantly. If you don't want to hear any spider talk at all, it starts at roughtly 9:15 and contunues to about 10:00. Skip it if you like.

We watched the original dark ending (everyone dies, y’all), and talk about why this comedy musical is a horror movie, Audrey’s wardrobe and décolletage, everyone’s secret Rick Moranis crush, dead spiders, blood donation, the chorus, that every song is our favorite, and Steve Martin’s fantastic turn as Orin Scrivello, DDS.

Rule 6 – If it needs to drink my blood to live, let it die.

Quote: Feed me, Seymour!

Poll: Would you buy Audrey II? Would you feed it?

 

Director: Frank Oz

Writer: Howard Ashman (screenplay), based on the film by Roger Corman and the screenplay by Charles B. Griffith

Year: 1986

Donna has really bad handwriting, you guys

#beyondthecabininthewoods #beyondthecabin #horror #horrorfan #horrorfilms #horrormovies #horrorfanatic #horrorjunkie #currentlywatching #ilovehorror #horrorlove #horrorfamily #horrorgeek #horrornerd #horroraddict #horrorlife #horrorfreak #horrorclub #AdreanMessmer #DonnaLeahey #KenziWhala #debbiebuchanan #SnarkCasts

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7
Apr

Episode 5 - Prometheus

Your polterguides gathered to watch Prometheus, the "Alien prequel." With special guest Billy, we discussed Guy Pierce's old age makeup, Idris Elba's tragic lack of a shirtless scene, whether androids even have roots that need to be bleached, and whether or not extra-Weylandcorp androids should be included in a general android ban.

Rule 5a - Do not remove your headgear!

Rule 5b - DTtA! Don't trust the android (Does not apply to Data)

00:0000:00
24
Mar

Episode 4 - Ginger Snaps

Hi Daddy!

Your polterguides gathered to watch the bloody Canadian werewolf flick, Ginger Snaps. Released in 2000, the film embodies 90's teen angst, showcases 90's fashion, and used up gallons and gallons of red-tinted corn syrup.

Be aware, you may learn more about your polterguides than you ever wanted to know in this episode.

Also, be aware, a LOT of dogs die in this movie.

 Rule # 3 - Don't have unprotected sex with a werewolf. Or with anyone. Don't have unprotected sex, you guys.

 

 Out by sixteen or dead on the scene, but together forever

 

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